arssolum:

arssolum:

i entered the friendzone but all I found were enemies

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fuck you charmin i didnt ask


ohshititzminahhh:

Can we please talk about this?

fuckyeah-nerdery:

cranzerries:

cranzerries:

I dream to someday run a companies twitter

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Can we just talk about Smart Car doing math on how much bird shit it would take to damage their cars?


manybodies:

lightspeedsound:

lunapics:

theshells:

I can’t stop laughing at Harry running the fuck awaythe boy who lived ladies and gentlemen.

….You realize, of course, that Hermione Granger lit a teacher on fire when she was eleven, and kept a person alive in a jar for a year when she was fourteen, and studies dark and forbidden magics for kicks, and is one of the brightest and strongest witches of her era. If she came at me, even wandless, I would aparate to Neptune to get away from her.

Hermione Granger also: 

  • punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot 
  • purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous) 
  • literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)
  • Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”) 
  • Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry 
  • Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else

in conclusion: Voldemort wishes he could be as awesome as Hermione, that’s why he wants to kill her so bad. 

Can we rehave this series with hermione as the protagonist. 

(Source: fallforwatsonmoved)

gorlt:

and, if you can’t get toasted pearl Couscous handpicked and blessed by a Moroccan shaman on the first tuesday of the winter harvest for your Sautéed Escarole then store bought is fine

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c0ssette:

Details of Michelangelo’s masterpiece “David” 1501–1504

davidbyrne:

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone


jiggalopuff:

what the fuck


Nathan Kress’ ALS Ice Bucket Challege

Bruh

(Source: partynauseous)

Turning on my fan so I ain’t gotta hear my roommate breathe

Ugh this single room isn’t coming fast enough


tastefullyoffensive:

Don’t scribe and carriage. [extrafabulouscomics]

jobhaver:

redgrieve:

Why is being told that Marilyn Manson removed his lower two ribs so he could suck his own dick in middle school like a common thing why is that an experience every American child goes through i just don’t

federal mandates on standardized testing necessitate that all children nationally be taught certain curriculum at particular grade levels